HI CAAAM!!

i know you're gonna read this as soon as i post it soo yeah.. shout out to you.. hehe.

soo yeeahh.. LIFE. It is pretty damn boring.. I don't know what it is that I'm missing but it sure is something big. I know its not money.. I know its not material things. And I know that it's something that even though I don't want it (which I do) I still NEED it. It's pretty obvious I don't have it. I cant find it and I know its not looking for me. Its like a trivia. I need to find out what it is because its driving me crazy in a way. Every time I'm alone, I feel its absence, but when I'm around people I don't feel its absence as much. It may not seem like something missing from the way I act or look but its is and there's nothing I know of to take its place. Spring break is really killing me right now. I feel it more and I know it's not family because they're always around. Gahh! I feel it more now because I'm thinking about it. I try my best to keep my mind off of the feeling by playing video games and playing the piano but it doesn't seem to work.. especially with the piano. I'm afraid it'll get the best of me and I wont be able to be the same. But maybe I'm over exaggerating, over analyzing. Its whatever though. I just have to live with it. whatever it is that's missing.. if i find it I'll try my best to never lose it because this feeling I'm feeling right now is depressing and i never want to experience it more than once.

Soo.. I finished the second book of the twilight saga.. it was alright. On to the third book. I feel hella GAY. haha. What can i say.. it has a good storyline.

-maaatt:]